I Just Want My Brain to Work Properly

So this week was interesting. For the first time in about a year I had to work through an anxiety attack.

I felt it creeping up, and I gave it my best effort to avoid it. Monday & Tuesday I did everything I could to distract myself. But Wednesday night it hit, which I knew would be the case with Chris leaving town til Sunday. You do your best to not let yourself get there, you’re afraid. But sometimes it’s just best to let it happen.

Sadly, I kind of only had myself to blame. About a year ago I was prescribed medicine to help manage my anxiety. And it worked! But because I didn’t really want to be that person and feel like I was using it as a crutch instead of learning to cope, I decided to come off it about two months ago.

It wasn’t just the typical I feel good, I don’t need it mentality, I also thought a lot of my anxiety was situational and that I’d worked past that. It was trial & error. But I came to realize I felt great because the medication was doing its job, and maybe my anxiety is more generalized than situational.

There is often a stigma attached to taking medication for mental health. I had the preconceived notions myself and was hesitant. For me it was a last resort. I’d addressed things, and tried to manage my anxiety through other outlets, but it just didn’t help.

The best analogy I have is that medication can help calibrate the brain. Everyone’s brain is wired differently. It’s like a car – if everything is not set up just right, not in tune, not calibrated – it doesn’t run right. It’s slowed down, it’s missing shifts, or sometimes just blows up.

It is important to me to speak out about anxiety and mental health to give it a face. So maybe someone else won’t be so afraid to talk about it. I know it helps me when I see others share because it assures me I’m not the only one, it doesn’t make me crazy, and there is nothing wrong with me.

Just this morning the first thing I saw on social media {which I’ve tried limiting my time on} was my friend’s post below. And honestly it was the perfect way to start my day –

“So there is this quote in the movie Garden State. I don’t remember the scene specifically, but when I was about 17 and lost in this dark hole that we call life (much as I have felt this week), this quote hit home with me. And it still reverberates with me to this day…

Andrew says: “Fuck, this hurts so much.”

In response Sam says: “I know it hurts. That is life. If nothing else, that’s life, ya know. It’s real…and sometimes it fucking hurts. But, it’s sort of all we have.”

Heavy, right? And on different days this means different things to me.

But today it means this…yes, life is SO hard sometimes. And my hard is different than your hard. And that’s real. What hurts me, or what gets me down may seem so simple to you. It may seem petty, stupid even. But that’s MY life. And that’s where I’m at. Next week the same could happen and I brush it off.

But that’s life, right? It’s REAL to me, right then, in that moment. But this life, this feeling, this chaos…it’s mine. And it is all I have. It is all I know. So today, I am going to try to make the best of it. I’m going to recognize the hard and to work through it. Unless this life is gone, what other option do I have?

So know that it’s okay to FEEL it. It’s okay to live through the hard. It’s ok to cry, to be overwhelmed or anxious about the most asinine things. Because that’s you right now. And you are perfectly imperfect along with the rest of us.”

It’s perfect. A hopeful, positive, inspiring, real message about what everyday life is for some. Not seeking sympathy or pity, just simply sharing. To bring awareness, to help others.  And by it touching just one person, ME, it served its purpose.

Too many people struggle silently. Some are ashamed, some fear judgment. If we can allow people to not see themselves as flawed, we can help them to address it and help themselves. Instead of hiding behind who we think we need to be.

I said to Chris on Wednesday, “I just want my brain to work properly.”  We are already hard enough on ourselves. Trust me, if we could change the way we function, we would.

It’s personal to me.

Blogging gives me an outlet to direct some of this energy.  It helps me clear my thoughts. So in an effort to do my part in helping others {and fill my time while Chris is away} I’ll share a little blog series the next few days on anxiety, stress, how social media affects it, and things that help me manage. And no, they won’t be as lengthy as this one 🙂

175 thoughts on “I Just Want My Brain to Work Properly”

  1. Thank you a lot for providing individuals with an exceptionally pleasant opportunity to read critical reviews from this website. It is often very brilliant and as well , packed with a lot of fun for me and my office friends to search your web site more than 3 times in a week to learn the latest issues you will have. And lastly, I am also actually astounded for the awesome points you serve. Some two tips in this article are indeed the simplest I have ever had.

  2. I simply desired to thank you very much once more. I’m not certain the things I would’ve accomplished in the absence of the tips discussed by you directly on this field. It had become a very traumatic issue in my view, but being able to see your expert avenue you managed the issue took me to cry for happiness. I am thankful for your service and as well , expect you comprehend what a powerful job your are carrying out training the rest through your site. I’m certain you’ve never got to know any of us.

  3. My husband and i ended up being really delighted when Ervin could round up his homework through the precious recommendations he grabbed from your weblog. It is now and again perplexing to just possibly be releasing tactics which usually people today have been selling. And now we discover we have the website owner to be grateful to for this. Those explanations you have made, the simple website navigation, the friendships you will assist to create – it’s mostly wonderful, and it is aiding our son and our family reason why this topic is pleasurable, and that’s exceptionally mandatory. Thanks for all!

  4. I am writing to let you understand what a remarkable encounter our child encountered viewing your site. She mastered several pieces, not to mention what it’s like to have a great giving mindset to make other people with no trouble thoroughly grasp a variety of multifaceted subject matter. You undoubtedly surpassed visitors’ desires. I appreciate you for rendering the informative, trustworthy, educational and also unique guidance on this topic to Ethel.

  5. I definitely wanted to type a brief message to say thanks to you for all the unique solutions you are sharing on this site. My incredibly long internet investigation has now been rewarded with beneficial suggestions to write about with my friends. I ‘d tell you that many of us website visitors are undoubtedly endowed to live in a fantastic community with very many marvellous people with beneficial tips. I feel very much lucky to have come across your entire website page and look forward to really more fun times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.

  6. I precisely needed to thank you very much all over again. I am not sure what I would have achieved without the entire hints contributed by you concerning this subject matter. This has been a frightening situation for me personally, however , noticing this well-written approach you managed it took me to jump for contentment. I am thankful for the help and wish you know what an amazing job you’re putting in educating the rest through the use of your web blog. I am certain you’ve never got to know any of us.

  7. My husband and i have been quite comfortable that Raymond could finish up his researching from your ideas he discovered in your web pages. It’s not at all simplistic to simply find yourself making a gift of tips and hints which usually people today might have been trying to sell. Therefore we already know we need the website owner to be grateful to for that. The type of explanations you have made, the easy website navigation, the friendships your site help foster – it’s everything incredible, and it is aiding our son and our family feel that that content is awesome, which is certainly pretty mandatory. Thanks for all!

  8. A lot of thanks for all of the work on this site. My mom really likes doing internet research and it is simple to grasp why. My partner and i know all of the powerful method you render great ideas through the website and in addition encourage contribution from some other people about this concept plus our girl is really learning a lot. Take pleasure in the rest of the year. Your carrying out a dazzling job.

  9. I precisely wished to appreciate you again. I’m not certain the things I would’ve tried without the entire ways shared by you on such area. It had been a frightening concern for me, however , finding out this professional strategy you solved that made me to leap over contentment. Now i’m happier for your service and then pray you find out what a great job that you are getting into instructing many people by way of your websites. I’m certain you haven’t come across all of us.

  10. I wanted to write you one tiny remark to give many thanks as before for all the exceptional opinions you’ve shared in this article. It was certainly strangely open-handed with you to supply openly exactly what most people would’ve marketed as an ebook to get some cash on their own, especially seeing that you might well have tried it in case you considered necessary. These ideas also served to become fantastic way to be aware that other individuals have a similar eagerness similar to my very own to grasp a little more related to this problem. I believe there are a lot more pleasant moments in the future for individuals that discover your blog post.

  11. I must express my appreciation to this writer for bailing me out of this challenge. After looking throughout the internet and meeting advice which were not helpful, I figured my entire life was over. Being alive minus the strategies to the difficulties you have fixed by way of your main posting is a crucial case, as well as ones that might have negatively affected my entire career if I hadn’t encountered your blog. That talents and kindness in handling everything was invaluable. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t discovered such a thing like this. I’m able to at this point relish my future. Thanks very much for the expert and results-oriented help. I will not be reluctant to refer your blog to anyone who wants and needs tips about this area.

  12. My wife and i were now satisfied that Emmanuel managed to do his homework using the ideas he was given from your web pages. It is now and again perplexing just to continually be releasing points which often the others could have been selling. Therefore we see we have the blog owner to be grateful to for this. The entire illustrations you’ve made, the easy site menu, the relationships your site make it possible to foster – it’s got everything astounding, and it is aiding our son in addition to the family recognize that this theme is fun, which is rather indispensable. Thanks for all the pieces!

  13. I definitely wanted to write down a brief message to appreciate you for these superb tips and hints you are sharing at this website. My considerable internet look up has at the end been compensated with pleasant suggestions to write about with my pals. I would state that that many of us site visitors actually are definitely fortunate to dwell in a good site with very many marvellous individuals with useful ideas. I feel extremely fortunate to have discovered your entire web pages and look forward to plenty of more pleasurable times reading here. Thanks a lot once more for a lot of things.

  14. I wanted to send you the very little remark in order to give thanks as before for these gorgeous views you have featured on this page. This has been really wonderfully open-handed of people like you to provide extensively all that most of us might have offered for sale for an electronic book in order to make some dough for their own end, specifically considering that you might have tried it if you ever wanted. The guidelines likewise served to provide a great way to be certain that other individuals have similar keenness just like my very own to learn a lot more when considering this matter. I am certain there are several more fun opportunities up front for individuals who scan through your blog.

  15. I happen to be commenting to make you understand of the fabulous experience my girl enjoyed visiting your blog. She picked up plenty of things, with the inclusion of how it is like to have a very effective coaching spirit to have most people just fully understand various hard to do things. You undoubtedly did more than our own expectations. Thank you for providing those priceless, dependable, explanatory as well as fun tips about the topic to Evelyn.

  16. Thank you for all of your work on this blog. Kim delights in managing internet research and it’s really simple to grasp why. All of us notice all of the compelling form you provide functional secrets by means of this website and in addition foster contribution from some other people about this situation and our own child is truly starting to learn a great deal. Take advantage of the rest of the year. You are carrying out a splendid job.

  17. I want to show my gratitude for your kind-heartedness for men and women that require assistance with your subject. Your real dedication to passing the solution around became wonderfully significant and have consistently permitted regular people much like me to reach their endeavors. Your own insightful key points denotes a whole lot a person like me and somewhat more to my office colleagues. Warm regards; from everyone of us.

  18. I definitely wanted to construct a quick note in order to say thanks to you for the great concepts you are giving out on this website. My prolonged internet investigation has at the end been rewarded with really good tips to exchange with my two friends. I ‘d express that we website visitors are unequivocally blessed to live in a decent network with so many special professionals with helpful tricks. I feel truly privileged to have discovered the site and look forward to so many more cool minutes reading here. Thanks a lot once again for everything.

  19. I together with my pals came looking at the good items found on the blog and then all of the sudden came up with an awful suspicion I never thanked the website owner for those techniques. Those young men came totally happy to read through all of them and have simply been using these things. Appreciate your actually being simply helpful and then for deciding on this sort of terrific information millions of individuals are really eager to understand about. Our own honest regret for not expressing gratitude to earlier.

  20. I enjoy you because of all your valuable hard work on this website. Kate loves getting into research and it’s easy to understand why. Many of us hear all concerning the compelling ways you give advantageous techniques by means of this web blog and even inspire contribution from people on the area and our favorite princess is without question discovering a lot. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. You have been carrying out a pretty cool job.

  21. I needed to draft you the little bit of note in order to say thanks again for all the beautiful things you have contributed on this website. This is really incredibly generous of people like you to convey freely all that some people could possibly have sold for an ebook in order to make some cash on their own, precisely considering the fact that you could possibly have tried it in case you wanted. The basics also worked like the easy way to be aware that some people have the same fervor just like mine to understand a little more on the topic of this problem. I’m certain there are thousands of more fun situations up front for people who read through your blog.

  22. I truly wanted to send a small comment so as to appreciate you for those stunning tips you are writing on this website. My time consuming internet lookup has finally been compensated with good quality suggestions to go over with my good friends. I ‘d point out that most of us website visitors are extremely fortunate to exist in a magnificent site with many lovely people with great concepts. I feel quite grateful to have encountered the weblog and look forward to so many more enjoyable moments reading here. Thank you again for everything.

  23. I will right away snatch your rss feed as I can’t find your email
    subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you
    have any? Kindly allow me understand in order that I may just subscribe.

  24. Pingback: cialis coupon
  25. Pingback: cialis tadalafil
  26. I actually wanted to construct a brief note to express gratitude to you for all the precious ideas you are showing at this site. My rather long internet lookup has now been honored with professional details to write about with my colleagues. I would tell you that most of us site visitors actually are quite lucky to dwell in a very good website with many awesome individuals with very beneficial plans. I feel rather happy to have used your webpage and look forward to plenty of more entertaining minutes reading here. Thanks once again for a lot of things.

  27. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme
    of this site. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s hard to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and visual appearance.
    I must say you have done a superb job with this. In addition, the blog loads very
    fast for me on Opera. Exceptional Blog!

  28. Having read this I believed it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you finding the time and effort to put this content togethe부산키스방
    . I once again find myself personally spending a lot of time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it.

  29. Pingback: viagra working
  30. Pingback: marley drug viagra
  31. Howdy! This blog post could not be written much better!

    Going through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He constantly kept preaching about this. I will forward this information to him.

    Pretty sure he’ll have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!

  32. Pingback: viagra ebay
  33. I’ve been surfing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all
    site owners and bloggers made good content as you
    did, the net will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  34. Pingback: cheap viagra
  35. Hi, I do think this is a great site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I’m going to revisit once again since I bookmarked it.
    Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to guide other people.

  36. It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the future and it is time to
    be happy. I have learn this publish and if I may
    just I want to counsel you few interesting issues or advice.

    Perhaps you could write subsequent articles regarding this article.
    I want to learn even more issues approximately it!

  37. Pingback: viagra bdsm
  38. My husband and i got absolutely thankful that Emmanuel managed to round up his survey by way of the precious recommendations he made from your own web pages. It is now and again perplexing to just choose to be handing out strategies that many the rest might have been making money from. Therefore we acknowledge we’ve got the blog owner to appreciate for that. The most important illustrations you made, the simple blog navigation, the friendships you give support to foster – it’s got everything wonderful, and it’s assisting our son and our family reckon that that subject matter is pleasurable, which is extraordinarily essential. Many thanks for all!

  39. Pingback: viagra pill
  40. Pingback: how to make viagra
  41. I have come to understand that costs for online degree professionals tend to be a fantastic value. For instance a full Bachelors Degree in Communication with the University of Phoenix Online consists of Sixty credits at $515/credit or $30,900. Also American Intercontinental University Online provides a Bachelors of Business Administration with a complete study course feature of 180 units and a cost of $30,560. Online learning has made getting your college degree so much easier because you could earn the degree in the comfort of your home and when you finish from work. Thanks for all tips I have learned from your site.

  42. Pingback: viagra direct
  43. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate to this excellent blog!
    I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your
    RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will share this website with my Facebook group.
    Talk soon!

  44. Pingback: viagra patent
  45. Thanks for your valuable post. Over time, I have come to understand that the symptoms of mesothelioma cancer are caused by the build up of fluid involving the lining in the lung and the chest muscles cavity. The ailment may start inside chest area and get distributed to other body parts. Other symptoms of pleural mesothelioma include losing weight, severe inhaling and exhaling trouble, vomiting, difficulty ingesting, and bloating of the neck and face areas. It ought to be noted that some people living with the disease don’t experience almost any serious indicators at all.

  46. Pingback: atorvastatin label

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *