Food Logs, Perfectionism, & Intuitive Eating

I’ve been silent on the blog lately. Took some things off my plate for a while, trying to minimize the self inflicted anxiety & pressures. Which is nearly impossible for me 🙂 Even seeing that my last post was in March stresses me out!

I’ll finish up sharing what it’s been like working with a nutritionist.

After metabolic testing, an area of focus was upping my calorie intake. Which meant logging my food (because you have to know where you stand). Needless to say, my relationship with MyFitnessPal did not last long. I enjoyed it at first, thinking maybe I was past some of my mental road blocks. But then I remembered why it’s not my thing.

I was pretty stressed out about it. I felt like in order to work on the things Meg laid out, it was kind of essential. However, I broke the news to her at our last appointment that I just couldn’t do it. And she said that’s okay! Huge relief.

It’s something I’ve debated for years. Track? Don’t track? I thought I was shooting myself in the foot. If my goals are to work on my nutrition and metabolism, how can I do that without tracking, knowing where I’m at?

She said it is helpful, but not necessary. The goal is long term. About finding what works for you. 

My struggle over the years has been the mental aspect of nutrition. I beat myself up over it, overthink, over analyze, and everything just becomes a puzzle I am trying to piece together perfectly.

Unfortunately logging only fuels my struggle.

One thing that used to hold me back from seeing a nutritionist was fear of judgement. What will they think if I say I ate this? What will they think after looking at my food logs?

We’ve all heard the term clean eating. It means different things to different people. For me it leads to a perfection mentality. Constantly adjusting, constantly trying to find better options.

Meg has reminded me there is no such thing as perfect nutrition.Hearing this come from a nutritionist was assuring. We can’t look at foods as good vs. bad. Foods are purely a choice. The only bad food is spoiled food, under cooked, etc. Food that will make you physically ill.

Logging my food, or keeping a food journal, encourages the perfectionism mentality.

Selecting what I want to eat today, tomorrow, and beyond becomes a game. How can I best complete the equation? Macro counts, calorie counts, graphs, charts, percentages, etc. I overthink it. Is there something better to fill into this slot?

I can’t leave a food choice in the past. Because it is there, staring at me. It becomes a mind game. Wasted Energy. Anxiety.

Logging doesn’t allow me to make intuitive choices. 

I want to learn to listen to my body again. I want improvement recognizing hunger and satiety. Not eating out of boredom. Or stress eating.

Our bodies were once self regulators. Our bodies let us know what we need. But we adapt so many habits we stop listening. We attach emotions to eating.

Take the time to watch a child eat. They eat when they are hungry. They stop when they are full. They don’t force themselves to eat something they don’t like. And their tastes vary day to day. They eat intuitively!

I had the most success with fitness and nutrition when I didn’t attempt to control it. I did not keep records of every workout, every meal, etc. I was moving forward based on feel. So in an effort to get back to that I’ve thrown out all the old logs and records I’ve kept. I decided to create a new path. Not attempt to re-create, or replicate.

Do not adopt a habit, or diet, you cannot live with forever! – Meg Carber, RDN

 

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